This is it. This moment will decide the future.
There’s a Cadbury Creme egg sitting on my desk. It looks positively delicious.
I had told myself when I bought it that I wouldn’t eat it until I did something substantial. I’m being rather loose with substantial: essentially, I just need to have done something for I can say “I did that.” This is my latest strategy for keeping myself a) focused and b) from eating all chocolate within my grasp.
And yet I sit here, staring at this egg.
Oddly, the intense sensation I’m feeling—the experience of my urges waging war against my self-control—is not in my brain, where the actual cognition is taking place. It’s actually located somewhere in my chest.
I find myself surprised that it’s such a tantalizingly rich experience. I’m not acting, to accomplish something substantial or to eat the egg, but just sitting. Being present to my conflicted intentions. I find myself taken in by the sensation in my chest. Enduring. Like a cold shower.
Delicious.
I wonder: how long I would have to sit with this urge before it would lose the battle? Could I break the urge by refusing it for long enough? I feel like I can.
Time to experiment.
Constantly consciously expanding the boundaries of thoughtspace and actionspace. Creator of Intend, a system for improvisationally & creatively staying in touch with what's most important to you, and taking action towards it.
Matthew » 11 Jul 2012 »
This is the first time I have heard about someone enjoying the discomfort of cognitive dissonance! (I guess one could say it’s a way for your mind to rationalize the discomfort ^_^)
Malcolm » 11 Jul 2012 »
Hmm good point. I’ve kind of been embracing discomfort of all kinds lately. I’ll be writing a post about that soon too.
I guess I’m seeing it as a kind of mental exercise. Just like holding up a heavy weight hurts, so does this… but like weightlifting, I feel like the process is making me stronger.
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