Delicious Cognitive Dissonance

A Creme egg, in its foil wrapper.

This is it. This moment will decide the future.

Wikipedia defines cognitive dissonance as being “a discomfort caused by holding conflicting cognitions simultaneously”. It lists several possible kinds of cognitions: ideas, beliefs, values, emotional reactions. I would like to add “intents”.

There’s a Cadbury Creme egg sitting on my desk. It looks positively delicious.

I had told myself when I bought it that I wouldn’t eat it until I did something substantial. I’m being rather loose with substantial: essentially, I just need to have done something for I can say “I did that.” This is my latest strategy for keeping myself a) focused and b) from eating all chocolate within my grasp.

And yet I sit here, staring at this egg.

I believe I’m experiencing acute cognitive dissonance.

Oddly, the intense sensation I’m feeling—the experience of my urges waging war against my self-control—is not in my brain, where the actual cognition is taking place. It’s actually located somewhere in my chest.

I find myself surprised that it’s such a tantalizingly rich experience. I’m not acting, to accomplish something substantial or to eat the egg, but just sitting. Being present to my conflicted intentions. I find myself taken in by the sensation in my chest. Enduring. Like a cold shower.

Delicious.

I wonder: how long I would have to sit with this urge before it would lose the battle? Could I break the urge by refusing it for long enough? I feel like I can.

Time to experiment.

A portrait of Malcolm Ocean

I'm Malcolm Ocean.

I'm trying to figure out how humans work so I can help make humanity work. More about me.

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